Hire This Hero: Punish Your Punisher by Replacing Him With Deathblow!

Hire This Hero: Punish Your Punisher by Replacing Him With Deathblow!

Hello! WWAC’s Superhero Temp Agency is back, and this time we have a candidate for your next Punisher. We here at WWAC understand. Sometimes your Punisher draws the short end of the stick and winds up in jail. Some days he’s busy attending to a terrorist group somewhere on the other side of the globe.

Hello! WWAC’s Superhero Temp Agency is back, and this time we have a candidate for your next Punisher.

We here at WWAC understand. Sometimes your Punisher draws the short end of the stick and winds up in jail. Some days he’s busy attending to a terrorist group somewhere on the other side of the globe. Heck, there are even times when your Punisher angers the Avengers and has to go into hiding for a while, necessitating a replacement until everyone calms down. Fortunately, we have a cover letter all ready to go from potential replacement Former Commander Michael Cray, aka DEATHBLOW.

Deathblow pinup: Enormous muscled man backlit by white fire, holding a massive gun, with a knife strapped to his right thigh.

Art by Jim Sales

Dear Hiring Manager,

You will find attached my resume and references for the position of Punisher.

When I was in college, terrorists hijacked a plane. My father—always proud in his Navy uniform—and my mother were passengers. No one survived the encounter, and I became an orphan with a plan to earn a uniform of my own one day. A few years later, I graduated from twenty-six grueling weeks of training as a Navy SEAL, intent on honoring my parents’ memory.

Military photo of Former Commander Michael Cray, in uniform and in front of an American flag, prior to becoming Deathblow

I served my country with distinction, achieving the rank of commander. I led my men to Hell and back in places such as [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and [REDACTED], all at the whim of Uncle Sam. I sacrificed my marriage to the job. First, last, and always, I was a SEAL, even when the loss of good men started to weigh on me. But I stuck it out like a good sailor until a traitor in our midst unleashed the Antichrist.

It took every trick I learned during my time in SpecOps and the help of a gun-toting nun, my ex-wife, and a cadre of Super-Powered Beings, but I sent him back to Hell before he turned New York City into a barren wasteland. Unfortunately, the events also resulted in my separation from the Navy and the death of my ex-wife. That leaves me with a great deal of time on my hands, deep emotional scars, and skills aching to be put to good use.

Those skills and my years in the military have taught me that you can never have too much materiel. I have everything from rocket launchers to handguns, powdered phosphorus to flamethrowers, in my cache, and I’m not afraid to use them. As an added bonus, my unwitting status as a secret experiment early in my career granted me regenerative powers, which makes health insurance unnecessary.

I think we can come to a mutually beneficial arrangement, and I look forward to meeting with you to discuss the contributions I can make as the next Punisher.

Thank you,

Fmr Cmdr Michael Cray, aka Deathblow

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Laura Stump
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