What is a month of sex talk without talk about sexy music?
First of all, does music play an important role in your sex life/sexuality? Why or why not?
Jamie: Not currently. The partner and I have different musical tastes, and he doesn’t vibe on a sexy song like I do.
Tea: I’m ace, so not really in my sexuality. But in my life, definitely. I play, sing, and write a lot of music and having a personal soundtrack is a really important part of my life.
Ginnis: You bet! I have a spotify playlist just for sexy tunes. Being that I am a very “in my head” kind of person, music helps me get out of that zone and into a more sensual mindspace, so sexy music is pretty crucial in my sex life.
Was there any particular songs you recall that contributed to your understanding of sex when you were a teenager?
Jamie: Well, yeah. Prince (RIP). Naturally. And a lot of the R&B of the 80s. Cameo. I was shy and repressed as a kid, so the music was sort of a guilty pleasure for me. I was afraid of any and everything my parents might negatively react to. As a black teen girl, there was a lot of pressure not to get pregnant. As a weird nerd girl, I didn’t get much of the romantic attention I wanted. I was a “boyfriend you’ve never met from Canada” kid. So music that told me sex was fun was eye opening.
Tea: The single song that is, for me, the absolute sexiest song I know, is “Scrawled in Sap” by 16 Horsepower.
They’re a gothic Christian bluegrass band and it’s a song about seducing another man’s wife, so I’m not entirely sure what that says about me, but David Eugene Edwards, their lead singer, honestly is able to make the creepiest things sound sexy. To someone who is usually squicked by sex. The band that was most influential in my teenage years, though, was definitely the Smashing Pumpkins. They definitely had a great impression on a kid who needed to hear that it was okay to be weird. And Tori Amos had a big influence on me figuring out stuff about my own identity. I also need to credit a lot of the musicians my mom listened to, like Simon & Garfunkel, Bob Dylan, and Fleetwood Mac. Stevie Nicks had SUCH an impression on me in terms of how to be a powerful woman.
Gin: Nine Inch Nails and Portishead—which clearly shows the era I grew up in! I mean “Closer” was like whoa—this introduction to sex that wasn’t about super, sweet romance or sentimentality, but showed me a different side of sex.
While “Closer” is the most obvious, just a lot of the industrial, percussive elements of NIN’s music, that gets in your guts! Portishead, I first heard them on The Craft soundtrack in a very fucked up scene, but their music is fascinating layers of desire.
Do you have a go-to musician, song, playlist for your mood music?
Jamie: Not these days. I have certain songs that do it for me, but by different artists.
Tea: Yes! My go-to band these days is Sweet Soubrette, a band that plays a lot of feminist music influenced by literature. They have a song called “Burning City” about Fahrenheit 451, and a song called “What’s My Desire” about Anais Nin that are two of the most incredible and emotionally-moving songs I know. Both of those songs end up on almost all my playlists.
I also have a Spotify playlist of any and all the songs that get stuck in my head, and multiple songs for my favorite characters/ships. I’ve got a 218-song Hannibal/Will playlist, and a 164-song Tony Stark/Tiberius Stone one, for example. If you want to make out to music about cannibals and/or ex-besties trying to murder you in your dreams.
Gin: Like Tea, I have a playlist, as well, and anytime I come across a song that does give me that sexy feeling—that greater sense of sensuality and my body, that essentially takes me out of my headspace and into touch and movement—it goes on that playlist.
Share your own favorites and recommendations in the comments!