Or However Many I Feel Like, And They Might Not All Be Facts
Welcome back to By The Numbers, the column where I count things in this week’s new comics from DC! This column will contain spoilers, but I’ll keep them as vague as possible while still amusing myself.
Metal is in full swing, which I will forgive solely because it means I get an extra Stjepan Sejic issue. An unexpectedly deep Scooby Doo, the exciting conclusion of Batman/Shadow, and a bunch of stuff with the “mysterious” Mr. Oz. Giffen and DeMatteis get a “don’t let the screen door hit you in the ass on the way out” farewell at the end of their… let’s say overly ambitious Blue Beetle run. New Wally shows up to drag The Flash out of being a boring, depressing book, which The Flash should never be. Twenty-one comics. This bi-weekly thing, plus an event… It’s a lot! If you’re buying some of these, think about where you want to put your dollars.
Cue the cheesy lightning effect. We’re counting.
Main Ongoing Titles

Action Comics #998
Number of hints that Doctor Manhattan might be the one behind Mr. Oz and stuff: 2
Batgirl #15
Number of glass shards stuck in that lady’s face: at least 6, and it’s really gross
Batman Beyond #12
Number of Batgirls/Batwomen appearing in this issue: 3
Number of giant novelty items visible in the Batcave: just 1, the T-Rex
Blue Beetle #13
Number of years between the present and the year 3001: 1000, apparently
Detective Comics #965
Number of women appearing in this deep dive into Tim’s history: 0, but he does look at a picture of his teammates once
The Flash #31
Number of other current titles in which Barry suffers from negative speed force powers: 0

Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps #29
Number of uses of the words “father,” “dad,” and “son” in this issue: 12, plus a bonus 4 uses of Highfather’s name
The Hellblazer #14
Number of actual references to 80s London punk culture in the flashback scene: 0
Justice League of America #15
Number of ladies kissed by the lady with the purple buzz cut: 0
Suicide Squad #26
Number of times Harley pointedly calls Ivy her “friend” in this issue: 4
Wonder Woman #31
Number of sound effects in this issue: 2, but neither of them are when the boom tube opens
Other Titles

The American Way #3
Number of Black men being lectured about the form of their resistance in this issue: 2
Batman/Shadow #6
Number of Cthulhu cosmic horror immortal curse evil enlightenment: I AM AN HONEST SIGNAL
Batman: The Murder Machine #1
Number of the Earth he’s from: -44, which is hard to render because Earth-44 and Earth -44 look basically the same
DC Bombshells United #2
Number of people who might be Clayface: 6!
(It turns out Yuki and Yuri are sisters and not in lesbians with each other, but at least one of them is implied to like girls, so that’s something.)

Justice League/Power Rangers #6
Number of zetabytes of data Cyborg has sifted through: Thousands
The Kamandi Challenge #9
Number of anthropomorphic turtles in Kevin Eastman’s issue: 1
Looney Tunes #239
Number of the Star Trek film lampooned in this issue: 2
Mother Panic #11
Number of ladies who express an interest in kissing Violet in this issue: 2
Number of ladies Violet kisses in this issue: 0
Nightwing: The New Order #2
Number of statues glorifying Nightwing’s butt erected in Gotham: 1, and it’s like four stories tall

Scooby Doo Team-Up #30
Number of teams solving weird mysteries featured in this issue: 6, all of whom date back to the 50s or 60s
This was a really cool issue for me, and it’s quietly a Jack Kirby tribute issue that I enjoyed more than a few of the Kirby 100 specials.