Or However Many I Feel Like, And They Might Not All Be Facts
Welcome back to By The Numbers, the column where I count things in this week’s new comics from DC! This column will contain spoilers, but I’ll keep them as vague as possible while still amusing myself.
Two Metal tie-ins! More Wildstorm fanservice! Wonder Woman/Conan! This is an exciting week for me. I hadn’t gotten caught up on The Wild Storm, and now I have, and wow. I was a huge fan of Wildstorm… after the fact. They had already become a DC imprint and then closed up shop by the time I really got into reading their stuff, but The Authority had my number. Having Warren Ellis helm an updated look at that world is unexpected, and having Angie Spica, the Engineer, as the primary protagonist is giving me all the feels. Including those ones.
Let the counting commence!
Main Ongoing Titles
Number of fish Arthur summons to fight the guy: Hahaha no. I’m not counting that.
Number of eyes they’d have if you combined Vulko and Cave Carson: 2
Number of jokes: 5, plus maybe you could count the weird pick-up line Selina says to Bruce?
Number of riddles: 3, so I guess the jokes are winning.
Number of panels in which Kate’s face bears a passing resemblance to Marguerite Bennett’s: 1
Green Arrow #31
Number of panels in which Hal talks about Ollie like they’re dating: 3, and he totally gives him the eye.
So they’re kissing now. Sorry. I don’t make the rules. They’re a couple, and their ship name is Hollie. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Green Lanterns #31
Number of panels it takes the guy who invented the power rings to realize Jess has a big Green Lantern symbol on her face: 6
Harley Quinn #28
Number of people Harley literally murders during a roller derby bout and everyone goes on like it’s cool: 1
Justice League #29
Number of apples Arthur spilled, that bastard: 18
Number of Robins appearing in this issue: 13
Super Sons #8
Number of new black girl superheroes introduced in this issue: 2!
Number of issues of Lois Lane contained in this issue: .75 (Just give me a Lois ongoing already!)
Number of exaggeratedly British Constantine lines that made me want to claw my Linguistics degree out: 0! Yay! Get this guy to write Hellblazer!
Batman: The Red Death #1
Number of allusions to the Poe short story from which the title is drawn: 0
Number of women with speaking parts in this issue: 2, and one of them only says, “I’m so scared!”
Bug! The Adventures of Forager #4
Number of Kirby look-alike homages I already read this summer: 6
Cave Carson Has A Cybernetic Eye #12
Number of possibilities: Infinite
Future Quest #2
Number of GRUNNA TUK LA: OOK-RAH!!!
Injustice 2 #10
Number of issues it took Tom Taylor to find his groove again with this new series: 10
The Wild Storm #7
Number of trousers worn by Cole Cash in this issue: 0
Wonder Woman/Conan #1
Number of Diana’s symbolic costume elements accidentally formed by mud splatters: 5, which seems like a few too many to be wholly plausible