Are there any characters that when they show up in a book you just sneer and say “THIS FUCKING GUY”? Not because you dislike the character, but because you know that since they’re here they’re just going to make things absolutely fucking miserable. I have a few of those. Jamie Braddock. Arcade. But the biggest of these pops up in Hellions #7, and I let out an audible groan followed by those three words. Who is it? Keep reading to find out.
Hellions #7
Rain Beredo (cover), David Curiel (colors), Cory Petit (letters), Tom Muller (design), Stephen Segovia (art and cover), Zeb Wells (writer)
Marvel Comics
December 2, 2020
This review contains spoilers for Hellions #7.
The issue opens with Sinister making a plea to the council to resurrect his Hellions. His pleading is actually unnecessary because they’re already being processed through the protocols since they didn’t die in Otherworld. This opening scene is fantastic for its comedic value but I have one giant continuity problem with it. As of the end of X of Swords, Jean is no longer on the council. She voluntarily left her position to lead the X-Men in defending Otherworld. A minor callout to be sure, but still, one that’s pretty jarring considering how good the continuity has generally been between the books.
Even though they didn’t die in Otherworld, there’s still something a little bit wrong with some of the resurrected Hellions. The Arakko deaths come back honed. Both Wild Child and Nanny are something more than they were (and heaven help us, Wild Child got hot). And Orphan Maker proves to be a massive problem because his powers were already a danger (WHAT ARE HIS POWERS, DAMMIT?!?) and with a boost from Arakko, this is very very dangerous.
Before we dive into the mission to retrieve a new suit to contain Orphan Maker (WHAT ARE HIS POWERS?!), we get a moment of sad Alex content that I constantly crave. He tries to get himself removed from the Hellions, but Emma does not agree, because there’s still something not right in his head.
There’s also internal conflict within the team regarding Sinister’s explanation for their deaths. It winds up being the rest of the team against Psylocke, and that’s some juicy drama. We also get confirmation of why Psylocke is taking Sinister’s side, and the answer is: Fallen Angels. I shit you not, Zeb Wells was able to get me to care about that series more in two pages than Hill was able to in six issues. Sinister is holding Psylocke’s daughter as a bargaining chip to have her be his enforcer, but she still is able to get her own little revenge here and there, like when she crashes his AI-driven plane into a mountain stronghold.
That brings us to the actual mission: to get a new suit for Peter, they have to liberate Nanny’s egg-shaped (with legs) ship from the notorious anti-mutant hate group The Right. They’re immediately greeted by The Right’s smiley-faced creepy-ass robots. Usually, in the past, those have been more mech suits with people inside, but considering how Nanny and Wild Child tear them apart and the Krakoan law of “Kill no human”, it’s probably good these two were unmanned.
That brings us to the last page reveal and this fucking guy. If you’ve been following X-Men stories for any significant period of time, the inclusion of The Right was probably hint enough to who I was hinting at in the opening paragraph. Of course, this fucking guy is none other than Angel’s former best friend, co-founder of X-Factor, and all-around sleaze bucket: Cameron fucking Hodge. This fucking guy.
