Love, Death + Dragons: Wendy’s Totally Plausible Game of Thrones Predictions

Love, Death + Dragons: Wendy’s Totally Plausible Game of Thrones Predictions

There are lots of Game of Thrones predictions and theories around and, with the pending doom of the Night King's onslaught, I would be remiss if I didn't get my thoughts out to the world. Last week's episode, "A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms," featured a lot of maudlin and/or surprising moments where many relationships

There are lots of Game of Thrones predictions and theories around and, with the pending doom of the Night King’s onslaught, I would be remiss if I didn’t get my thoughts out to the world. Last week’s episode, “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms,” featured a lot of maudlin and/or surprising moments where many relationships were revisited, strengthened, and/or sundered. With the white walker army at Winterfell’s doorstep, here are my hopes and dreams for some of Westeros’ finest. 

Dany and Jon

Sam’s news has caused a rift in their relationship that goes beyond whether or not they really do love each other. There will be several moments on the battlefield where Dany casts a contemplative look at Jon, and when he finds himself in real trouble, she, after a moment of hesitation, flies in for the save — but the Night King attacks. Rheagon takes the blow and dies, becoming undead and forcing Drogon to kill his sibling, but in the fight, Dany tumbles from Drogon’s back, falling amidst a hoard of white walkers. Death seems imminent for the queen, but a group of Northerners led by Lady Mormont slice their way through to protect her and Jon. When they defeat the walkers, Lady Mormont turns her sword on Dany and lays down some choice words that make Dany strongly consider her entitlement.

When the battlefield clears and the dead are burned, Sansa calls her banners and Jon reveals his news. He makes it clear that he doesn’t want the throne and Dany makes it clear that she will not give the North sovereignty — but she offers a compromise: Jon can remain Lord of the North, and she asks Sansa to be the Queen’s Hand. Tyrion is shocked at first, but gets over it because maybe it means he can die in bed at 85 surrounded by wine and women after all.

Jon breaks down in tears because he’s so tired of people foisting leadership on him when he wants none of it. Lady Mormont rolls her eyes and betroths herself to him. When she comes of age, they will marry, and in the meantime, she’ll run the North with good ol’ northern efficiency and ferocity while Jon heads up his Wall Restoration Project.

Sansa and Theon

Theon and Sansa stand atop a wall, prepared to risk their lives to leap to safety

After spending and evening reminiscing about their days growing up, carefully avoiding discussion of the trauma they have endured, but gently squeezing each others’ hand every time the pain threatens to rise, they part with one more embrace.

Theon and his soldiers find Bran in the grove. When the battle commences, they are unnerved by the distant sounds and Bran’s creepy staring. Then the Night King soon shows up and Theon, armed with a dragon glass ax, has his opportunity to redeem himself at last, even as the Night King cuts down the rest of the Iron Born. But that’s right when Bran chooses to throw out a reminder of Theon’s time as Reek, completely disrupting Theon’s focus and causing him to trip and fall in front of the Night King, because everyone has to die useless deaths for Bran, the real villain of this story.

Tormund and Brienne and Jaime

Brienne of Tarth (Gwendolyn Christie) smiles happily after earning her knighthood

Haven risen again after his encounter with the Night King, Theon will seek out Sansa, but Brienne will save her just in time, thereby continuing to fulfill her oath to protect Sansa.

Jaime will survive the Battle of Winterfell but will bite it fighting Cersei’s army. He will die after defending both Brienne and Dany, thereby redeeming himself. Brienne will usher him into sweet oblivion with her tears. In the aftermath of battle, Arya will go shopping for faces among the bodies, and will claim Jaime’s.

Brienne will survive both battles to become the commander of the Hand’s Guard and train the next generation of soldiers, with Pod as her lieutenant. Always supportive of Brienne’s career, Tormund, who never fully recovers from his wounds, will run a home for war orphaned kids, where he will tell them very inappropriate bedtime stories.

Arya and Gendry

Arya and Gendry discuss plans for her new weapon

Praise for this slow burn evolving into one of the only empowering sexual encounters for a woman in this whole series! And she is a woman, for those clutching pearls at her having sex but cheering when she bakes people into pies. We didn’t check Pod’s ID when he went to the whore house, did we??

Anyway, Gendry will be utterly smitten with Arya, but Arya, having now had her moment of embracing life in the face of death, will have determined that sex really is not for her. She’ll survive the battle, but it will not be an easy task. Thankfully, Nymeria and her pack comes in for a save. Then, using her special weapon to off at least two of the Night King’s generals, Arya will proceed to King’s Landing where, wearing Jaime’s face, she will check Cersei off of her list.

Gendry will survive to become the famed head blacksmith of the kingdom. He remains uninterested in the Iron Throne, save to reforge it into something more comfortable. With cushions. Definitely cushions.

Cersei and Euron

Cersei sits with a glass of wine; Euron leans over her with his hand on her belly.

Now that Cersei has established that she’s slept with someone other than Jaime to ensure that no one believes the blond baby that she will birth is his, she has no more use for Euron in her bed, who takes this rejection as a challenge. He hops back on his ship to go get Cersei her elephants and earn himself a queen once and for all. Unfortunately, the Golden Company’s leader’s logic proves to be true. Euron loses half his fleet to an on board elephant stampede.

Despite this setback, the battle goes well for Cersei until Jaime drops in to fulfill her prophecy. With the source of their funds gone, the mercenary soldiers nope out of the battle.

Missandei and Grey Worm

Missandei and Grey Worm share a kiss

Grey Worm pretty much sealed his fate with that hopes for the future speech, like a war movie soldier showing off a picture of his girlfriend before the big battle. But my headcanon is strong so he will indeed survive the battle and lead all the people from the other side of the sea — who have been very much questioning their decision to blindly follow Khaleesi to a place this cold and pale — back home where it’s warm and nice. They will discover that everything Danearys had done has been reset and is now even worse, and, shockingly, Daario was assassinated approximately three minutes after Dany set sail.

Samwell and Gilly

Samwell, with Gilly holding her baby beside him, looks forward happily

Sam fights admirably and proves himself the badass wight slayer he is and manages to escape Dany “accidentally” almost landing a dragon on him several times. The true hero of the realm, he backs up Jon’s claim to the throne with a PowerPoint presentation and, when the dust settles, he gets Gendry to help him forge all his damn rings and then returns to the Citadel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman where he starts ushering in some much needed changes.

Bran and The Night King

Bran and the Night King face each other amidst a snow stormThe truth is, all of the above would be nice and all, but I am actually Team Night King, and I support the ruler Westeros really needs as Bran carefully and creepily leaves the doors of Winterfell open for his best bud to waltz right in and take over…

No one is going to survive this winter.

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Wendy Browne
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