In conversations about the best places in the country to live, a few usual suspects are typically mentioned: New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Austin. But there’s a hidden gem you may not have considered–Gotham City. Yes, it’s true that Gotham’s reputation has historically been somewhat questionable. In fact, most people would rather live literally anywhere else. Even Fresno. But the reality is, this up-and-coming city has a lot going for it. Read on for the top 10 reasons you should consider relocating to Gotham.
10. It’s the most emo place in the world. It’s like it was founded by the offspring of Linkin Park and Jack the Pumpkin King. And at the end of the day, aren’t we all just goth teenagers at heart?
9. Noir makes everything sexier. And every day in Gotham is like The Maltese Falcon. The constant threat of crime. The omnipresent fog. There’s something about criminality paired with shitty weather that can be a real turn-on.
8. You can get away with a little bit of trash behavior. In a city plagued by the likes of the Joker, the Riddler, Two-Face, and the Scarecrow, cutting someone off in traffic doesn’t even warrant a half-raised middle finger.
7. It’s probably in New Jersey. Sure, the city’s government may be hopelessly corrupt and there might be homicidal maniacs lurking behind every corner, but you’re just a short drive from Paterson and Newark! Plus, if you get murdered by one of the Falcones or Maronis, there’s a good chance your body will end up in the picturesque Hudson River.
6. Gotham is a sports fan’s dream. With the Gotham Knights (baseball), the Griffins (basketball), the Wildcats (football), and the Blades (ice hockey), there’s no shortage of sporting events to distract you from the nonstop killing and general sense of unending despair.
5. There’s tons to do when out-of-town relatives come to visit. With popular destinations like Crime Alley, Slaughter Swamp, and Toxic Acres, you’re sure to have an amazing time. And what’s more, you won’t even have to worry about traffic or parking! You can easily show your visitors around town by taking the convenient and 100 percent safe Gotham Subway.
4. Arkham Asylum is right at your doorstep, which is actually a blessing in disguise. We all go through challenging times now and then, and practicing gratitude can help us get through them. With the constant reminder that, if nothing else, at least you’re not locked up in Arkham, it’s easier to appreciate the good things in your life.
3. You can get a world class education in Gotham. The prestigious Gotham Academy has been attended by many of the city’s elite, including one Bruce Wayne. And the fact that it’s haunted by the ghost of one of the Penguin’s ancestors gives it a sense of history and authenticity you don’t often find at other schools. Gotham University is a highly respected institution, as well. After all, it’s been home to esteemed academics like the renowned psychologists Harleen Quinzel and Jonathan Crane.
2. Gotham’s origins are likely occult-based in some way or another, and it may or may not involve a centuries-old bat-demon trapped underneath the city. This is a major selling point because living on what’s practically a hellmouth will challenge you to rise to the occasion. To become your best self. To reach your fullest potential. Just ask Buffy.
1. And finally, the number one reason to move to Gotham: Batman! You saw this one coming, right? Let’s just say this. Other cities might have amazing nightlife, top notch museums, and Michelin Star restaurants, but any city so extreme it needs an eccentric billionaire dressed as a bat to protect its citizens on a daily basis is absolutely a place anyone would want to call home.