Tank Girl’s boyfriend is Booga, who is a man but also a kangaroo. This Tank Girl-themed snack is kangaroo jerky. Jerked kangaroo. Booga’s been jerked and you’re supposed to eat it. Dick jokes. Dick jokes. Dick jokes. DICK JOKES!!!
So yeah, obviously I bought it.
There were three or so choices of flavour for the marinated, dried meat (the kangaroo meat; there were plenty others; I tried some horse, it was good). BBQ, something else, and mine was mead, juniper and garlic, because I’d gone to the food festival for mead and hadn’t found any. I have nothing against juniper, and garlic is always something to sniff at. But not to leave behind. Har, har.
I don’t think this is licensed Tank Girl jerky, because the image on the sticker is pretty poorly reproduced. Obviously that’s bad an’all but would Tank Girl really care? I feel like it’s not relevant to my enjoyment of this dry meat. My enjoyment of this dry meat was considerable, although the volume of it in the packet was not.
Twenty grams of jerked kangaroo cost me three pounds fifty, which in these straightened times is a fact I’m not impressed with. It can’t be helped, we’re all out to dry, and it is at least a novelty. Novelty and nutrition should be combined as often as possible, in my opinion. And preferably, with taste. I can’t forget the specific taste of the Pokemon Chupa Chups. Or the weird green foam in that discontinued Honeydukes Chocolate. I guess neither of those contained “nutrition.” Still.
Mead, Juniper, and Garlic Tank Girl Treats Exotic Jerky from Cowley’s Fine Foods are snacks I’d eat again. They’re peppery and the flavour builds with chewing, giving back what you put in. Fella on the stall explained the difference between supermarket jerky and artisanal jerky: from the shop, the flavour is sprayed on, and tasteable immediately. This jerky is marinated for twenty four hours, and then dried, so your saliva activates the taste. I appreciate food that challenges the eater. I suppose it is a latent hunter’s instinct.
Kangaroo does not hold together especially well while the chewing is extracting the flavours. The horse and the beef I tried small pieces of stood up much better to a long chew — the kangeroo flaked early, like tuna or rabbit. I enjoyed the flavour more than the lack of hold. The same can be said for kangaroo steaks, having eaten those before: savour the meat in the moment, because it’s eager to get going. Perhaps it’s not really a meat made for jerky, in that sense. You can’t chew something for extended periods if the “something” has abandoned pretense of fiber or sinew and become something like a spitty wad of cardboard. But the flavour, the marination, certainly suits the meat. It’s sweet, peppery, and rich, and I always find juniper a little unfriendly. Not unpleasant, just a taste that draws a picture of somebody evaluating their surroundings. Like Tank Girl. Or Poirot.
I would not say that it tasted like semen, though the jerking element does make for good jokes.