Have you, dear reader, ever wished you could play with the official toys in the Marvel Universe toybox? Well, now you can! Kind of. If you tilt your head and squint a little. Marvel has announced Create Your Own, a service wherein you can create fan comics using Marvel’s licensed properties. There are some caveats; first, Marvel owns anything you create using the service, which means if you happen to create a particularly striking example of fanwork, they’re free to use it however they like. This is dangerously close to unpaid labor on the part of you, the fan, but fortunately, Marvel thought of that, and is protecting you! How? Well, they’ve done their absolute best to prevent you from being able to do anything fun or interesting with their resources.
We enterprising folks here at WWAC have decided to help them out, and had ourselves a little scavenger hunt for comics containing the forbidden materials. We present them below, line by line, for your edification:
-
Ads for “R” or “NC-17” rated movies, “TV14” or “TVMA” TV programming, or “M”, “AO”, or “RP” video games
Gwen Stacy wants to see the infamous “adult” movie I am Curious (Yellow), Amazing Spider-Man #101 —Kayleigh Hearn
- Content that could frighten or upset young children or the parents of young children
Is “Every issue of Marvel Zombies ever published, man that was a gross fucking idea” too broad? —Kayleigh Hearn
-
Prescription drugs or over-the-counter medication, vitamins, and dietary supplements
Harry Osborn’s infamous pill addiction (ASM #97) —Kayleigh Hearn
-
Contraceptives
The thing is, he doesn’t have a condom. (Peter Parker Annual 2000) —Rachel Nagengast
-
Depictions of alcohol (hard liquor, beer, wine, etc.), tobacco (cigars, cigarettes, etc.), or drugs (marijuana, etc.)
Wolverine, amid several already-discarded cans, asks Hisako if she’s a beer, Giant-Size Astonishing X-Men #1 —Nola Pfau
-
Sexually explicit images (pornography, etc.)
A post-coital She-Hulk and Juggernaut, Uncanny X-Men #435 —Nola Pfau
-
Nudity
Spidey has a clothing malfunction. (ASM #1) —Nola Pfau
-
Suggestive or revealing images (bare midriffs, legs, etc.)
Bare midriffs? Guess every comic Emma Frost’s ever appeared in fails. (UXM #494) —Kayleigh Hearn
So I’m guessing like, everything in the Marvel Swimsuit Specials is out. (Marvel Swimsuit Special #3) —Rachel Nagengast
-
Sensationalism (killer bees, gossip, aliens, scandal, etc.)
Killer bees: the very existence of Swarm, the Nazi made of Killer Bees —Kayleigh Hearn
And….Aliens? Really? —Kayleigh Hearn
Speaking of scandal, I guess you’re not allowed to involve the Daily Bugle at all. (Fantastic Four Volume 3 #27) —Rachel Nagengast
-
Potentially slanderous or libelous content
Mark Millar licks goats! (Nextwave #10) —Kayleigh Hearn
-
Obscenity, bad or offensive language, proxies for bad or offensive language (X@#%!), body parts, or noises related to bodily functions
Tell it to Jessica Jones, Marvel. (Alias #16) —Rachel Nagengast
-
Politics (lobbyists, PAC sites, political campaigns, alternative lifestyle advocacies)
Not like this comic was a big deal or anything. —Kayleigh Hearn
-
Gambling (excluding state lotteries, sweepstakes and fantasy leagues)
Deadpool loves this game! (Deadpool #23) —Kayleigh Hearn
Ben Grimm’s a gambling man. (The Thing Volume 2 #8) —Rachel Nagengast
-
Graphic violence (including certain types of game sites) unless approved by Tap Tap on a case-by-case basis
Hulk rips Wolverine in half (he got better), Ultimate Wolverine Vs. Hulk #1 —Nola Pfau
-
Death
Death, the personification of death, in a book entitled The Death of Captain Marvel, wherein Captain Marvel dies. —Nola Pfau
Johnny Storm contemplates suicide after one of his fans burns himself to death. (Fantastic Four #342) —Rachel Nagengast
-
Discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation, or age
Iceman’s father is against his interracial relationship with Opal Tanaka (Uncanny X-Men #289) —Rachel Nagengast
-
Illegal activities or any materials that infringe or assist others to infringe upon any copyright, trademark, or any other intellectual property rights
Any illegal activities? Because I feel like in order to show superheroes fighting crime, you have to occasionally show those crimes. (Ultimate Spider-Man #42) —Nola Pfau
-
Misleading language
No, he doesn’t die. (Uncanny X-Men #42) —Claire Napier
-
Images or content that is in any way unlawful, harmful, threatening, defamatory, obscene, or harassing
Pretty sure sexist jokes about your own staff members count as harmful, Jim. —Nola Pfau
-
Unauthorized or unapproved use of Marvel creative assets (such as talent, logos, characters, movie logos, theme park imagery, color scheme, font[s])
(Universe X: Spidey) An editor is a creative asset, right? Milgrom lost a staff position for this invocation —Claire Napier
-
A copy or parody of current or past Marvel advertising creative (from any media form)
(All-New Wolverine #28) Exactly what it says on the tin. —Claire Napier
-
Other controversial topics (social issues, etc.)
Social issues, huh? Good old Nick Spencer. (Captain America #17) —Nola Pfau
-
Implied affiliation or favored status with Marvel
He wins. —Claire Napier
-
Unreasonable or highly unlikely product or service claims
I think there were a few more issues of Spider-Man after this one. —Nola Pfau
-
Double entendres
Peter Parker does love Mary Jane’s peaches! (Spectacular Spider-Man #162) —Rachel Nagengast
-
Amusement parks (other than Disney amusement parks)
Marvel Heroes take a trip to the Universal Studios theme park. This one was honestly too easy, given that the Marvel attraction at Universal is still open. —Nola Pfau
-
Movie studios (other than studios affiliated with Marvel)
Paragon Productions wanted Spider-Man and the Human Torch for a film. (Amazing Spider-Man Annual #4) —Rachel Nagengast
-
Animated movies (other than Marvel or Disney movies)
(Uncanny #145) Kids go to college, kids watch the animes, Just the way it is. —Claire Napier
-
Guns (firearms, bullets, etc.)
Every single Punisher cover, I’m serious. Even the logo got frigging shot! —Kayleigh Hearn
-
Any content that is otherwise inappropriate for children
Marvel’s adult Max line featured mature content, including Purple Man’s sexual assault of Jessica Jones. (Alias #25) —Kayleigh Hearn
-
Any content that is otherwise fraudulent, deceptive, infringing, racially offensive, sexually explicit, threatening, hateful, harassing, disparaging, libelous (including trade libel), slanderous, or defamatory
I’m not even sure where this panel of a villain forcefully kissing a naked Johnny Storm while saying he’d make “the most lovely pet” should go, but I DO know it would not be allowed. (Fantastic Four Volume 3 #20) —Rachel Nagengast
Note: We didn’t even have to step outside of Marvel as a publishing house to find an instance that violates every single one of the limitations in this list. This was a fun game, but it’s time to be serious: In addition to the horrendous list of rules above, whatever you make with the new Create Your Own program belongs to Marvel. This is, of course, understandable–you’re using their assets after all—but they retain the rights to use the material that you create however they wish, without paying you.
So, it’s not even really Create Your Own, is it?
