Fail Better: Remembering Instead of Resolutioning

Last year, instead of resolutions, I opted for rememberlutions. I got this idea from a Buzzfeed article and thought the idea was pretty neat:

“New Year’s resolutions can be energizing and motivating, but they can also lead you to beat yourself up; focusing on the previous year’s failures to figure out where to do better next year is no way to live. And when you don’t keep your resolutions (yet again), you can feel completely defeated.

So instead of focusing on shortcomings, prepare to celebrate each awesome thing that happens next year.”

Considering that beating myself up is a popular pastime of mine, I decided a rememberlutions jar was a pretty cool idea (and certainly seemed better for my mental health).

I grabbed a mason jar that I had lying around and glued a ribbon around it for embellishment:

Ginnis Tonik_rememberlutions jar 2015
My rememberlutions jar: the end result.

Throughout the year, I packed it with post-it notes containing quick scribbles about accomplishments I felt proud of. Then, at the end of the year, I sat down and reviewed what I had put in the jar. Here’s what I learned.

While Buzzfeed explains that the rememberlutions jar is about the “awesome things that happen next year,” most of my rememberlutions were about my writing accomplishments, not just generally awesome and interesting things that happened in my life. While these were awesome accomplishments, my rememberlutions really highlighted how I can develop tunnel vision in regards to my goals and my to-do list. In fact, my old roommate used to call my to-do list obsession: “the tyranny of the to-do list.” I am proud of these accomplishments, but they also highlight what fantasy author, Sam Sykes, recently noted via Twitter:

Sam Sykes_Twitter_creative work and guilt“Burn out” is right. In fact, I don’t actually recall the last time I put something in the jar because I spent the final months of this year burnt out. The few rememberlutions not about my writing read: “I admitted to being defensive instead of picking a fight,” “decorated our mantle for Halloween and it looks awesome,” etc. And I am equally as proud of those moments as I am my writing accomplishments. All in all, this got me thinking about my rememberlutions jar for this year.

I decided that this year my rememberlutions jar will be a little different. I found an old glass jug in my kitchen, something much larger than last year as I wanted more space for moments and not just accomplishments. I added “i am” across the front — it’s my favorite line from Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar:

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am.”

Ginnis Tonik_rememberlutions jar 2016
New jar. Wine included.

(Or “brag” for you Plath nerds out there.) I have the last three sentences of this quote tattooed across my heart for the same reasons I decided to make this year’s rememberlutions jar about “I am” as opposed to “I did.” I’m an ambitious, anxious writerly type with a penchant for self-flagellation. I fret over what I didn’t do, what I didn’t cross off my to-do list instead of what I did. I fret over my failures, not my accomplishments. Last year’s rememberlutions jar was about that, but this year’s is also about (at least hopefully) things you can’t really put on a to-do list.

I hope this year, you will find a way to celebrate what you did do, not what you didn’t do, and embrace the moment.

Cheers to a New Year.

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Ginnis Tonik

Ginnis Tonik

Smashing the patriarchy with glitter, pink lipstick, and cowboy boots. You can follow her on Instagram @ginnistonik

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