Last Week’s Episode: Chris Pratt is Still the Absolute Worst Chris

Last Week's Episode

For a year that has seen very few superheroes make it to the screen there is plenty of superhero news brewing this week. Prepare yourself as anything you get excited about will be instantly ruined by the behavior of one member of the MCU.

Comic Book Movie and TV News

After Reggie Hudlin pulled the ultimate power move of announcing an in production Static Shock movie during a DC Fandome panel–apparently to the surprise of WB–Michael B. Jordan has now signed on to produce said movie. Let’s hope that his star power gets the film made as we all need a Virgil movie in our lives. How this will fit in with or effect the current Milestone Media reboot that DC is planning is unclear. [Variety]

Netflix’s recent Baby-Sitter’s Club reboot was a joy and there’s good news for fans of LA girl Dawn as the wonderful actress who portrayed her, Xochitl Gomez, is joining the cast of Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. This is really cool casting no matter who Gomez is playing but I’d love to see her take on a classic cosmic role. Maybe Elsa Bloodstone? An aged down non-love-interest Clea? I’d like to see it. Fans are saying America Chavez… which seems not great for the movie but the multiverse aspect does make it more likely. [THR]

Put down that champagne Orphan Black fans, looks like Tatiana Maslany might NOT be playing She-Hulk. Or, at least that’s what she told a reporter in a recent interview. “That actually isn’t a real thing and it’s like a press release that’s gotten out of hand. It’s totally not — I’ve been connected to these things in the past and press has gotten onto it, but it’s not actually a thing, unfortunately,” the actor said. Don’t be too sad though as this is par for the course for anyone who gets cast in a huge superhero project. Remember Jason Momoa and his one million Aquaman denials? [Sudbury Star]

If you know a young rad kid who wants to get into comic book entertainment then check this out. The creative team behind the upcoming Paper Girls show is currently holding open castings for the four leading roles. Brian K. Vaughn and Cliff Chiang’s gorgeous comic is a nostalgia-hued sci-fi adventure and is currently in production at Amazon.

I tried to warn you that there was a lot of comic book news this week. Sadly, this is one of the worst things to come out of Hollywood in an already awful year. Remember the #SnyderCut? The argument that Zack Snyder had his own FINISHED cut of Justice League that was allegedly good? Well, turns out that was absolute nonsense and HBO Max is giving the director millions of dollars to reshoot the film and he’s choosing to spend some of that money paying to bring back world’s worst Joker (somehow still holding that title after Arthur Fleck) and cult leader, Jared Leto. Terrible choices all around. Leto was known for abusive behavior towards his castmates and a kinda racist portrayal of the famous villain. Also, he was only in Suicide Squad for ten minutes and was not, I repeat, not in Justice League….

More importantly, does this mean that if I keep tweeting about The Yan Cut then WB will give Cathy Yan $60 million to make a Birds of Prey series?? Because if it does I WILL DO IT!

Millionaire Tears

Continuing the superhero theme, let’s talk about the super-church attending “Don’t Tread on Me” t-shirt wearing elephant in the room. Seeing as there hasn’t been an MCU release this year you could argue this is the year the MCU died or was at least put on life support. But just in case you weren’t fully sure the corporate owned superhero was a lost cause, Chris Pratt decided to make everyone look stupid for caring about superhero movies and the obscenely wealthy people who star in them. I write all of this as someone who loves comic books, loves many-a comic book movie, but hates bigots and their weird billionaire enablers. In case you missed it, Chris Pratt once again got voted at the bottom of the four Chrises poll and he did not take it well. The strangest thing is this meme is at least five years old and he ALWAYS loses.

But for some reason he took notice, maybe it’s because his 30-year-old wife knows how to use social media? Maybe his PR person was doom scrolling like the rest of us? Whatever happened, he found out and the Avengers Assembled.

Mark Ruffalo was first disappointing people with taste–who could also ignore that he’s a 9/11 truther–everywhere.

Robert Downey Jr. A.K.A. Anthony “Iron Man” Stark was next, somehow embarrassing himself more than when made Dr. Dolittle. Also lol that he apparently photoshopped poor little Tom Holland out of this image (important to note Holland has not come out in support of Pratt during this trying time). Guess he doesn’t like his #brother enough to have a photograph alone with him.

Some other irrelevant people jumped in to defend the amazing “Christian” and tried to leverage the idea that Pratt was being attacked for being religious rather than his support of a homophobic church and his penchant for following racist accounts like Prager U–who are also fans of the actor–and Ben Shapiro.

We all know that superheroes aren’t real but this was an exceedingly good reminder that we should try as much as we can to divest from the superhero industrial system that puts money and ego into the hands of people who will surely just disappoint people who like them and embarrass people who like comics. While people fight in the streets for their rights and hundreds of thousands die from a pandemic the powerful men of the MCU want to remind you who really matters: Chris Pratt.

Business News

Things are a-changing at Warner Bros. after the surprising departure of long time exec Peter Roth the company has announced ex-Netflix VP of Originals at Netflix, Channing Dungey as his replacement. According to reports she’s been “has been tapped to succeed Peter Roth as chairman of Warner Bros. Television Group when he steps down in early 2021.” Variety also noted that Dungey’s arrival follows a big shake up at WB.

“Dungey will take the top spot at WBTV Group in the wake of a broad restructuring at WBTV parent WarnerMedia, initiated by newly installed WarnerMedia CEO Jason Kilar. The last few months have been marked by the company’s sharpened focus on direct-to-consumer services — HBO Max entered the streaming melee in May — and hundreds of layoffs across Warner Bros., HBO, DC Entertainment and other media brands.” – [Variety]

Wear a mask, wash your hands, be kind, and stay safe. ‘Til next time.

Rosie Knight

Rosie Knight

writer. fake geek girl. makes comics, occasionally sells some.

One thought on “Last Week’s Episode: Chris Pratt is Still the Absolute Worst Chris

  1. …isn’t it great when someone is not only an awful person, but is apparently a _sinkhole_ for everyone else to be awful??? Chris? I know being a “prat” is in your name, but you don’t have to make that literal!

    That tears it. After the execution of Endgame I already wasn’t going to go see any more MCU in theaters, but I’m flat out not watching if they don’t turn up at the library at this point. Screw you, Pratt. And Ruffalo? what is even the hell?? I thought you were smarter than this!

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