There I am on the side of a cliff, feeling pretty good. What possessed me to get up there? Pouches.

See that belt around my waist? That’s got a pouch on. In fact it’s got two. Sometimes there are more, but that depends on where I’m going, and what for. Pouches are as versatile as your needs.

When you’re wearing a pouch (or more), you can do anything. You can do it because you feel like you can, and that’s powerful! Hey nerd, could you go on all the weird missions the X-Men do, right now? Would you feel ready? No! Well put on some POUCHES, and then you will. I’m serious. A pouch is like a magical drug; Schrödinger’s pouch is full of potential.

People make a lot of fun of Rob Liefeld and all the other guys of the 90s who put pouches on every spare limb, but you know what? People are rubes. Pouches are radical. I’ve annotated some diagrams. Argue with me, I dare ya.

Ladies such as myself are often heard complaining about the lack of pockets in our lady clothes. Have you ever looked at a Lycra ™ & Unstable Molecules ™ bodysuit? They’ve got fuck-all pockets, that’s for sure. You’re going for a battle, or to make a sweeping rescue, or to do whatever any superhero does at any time, you need kit, you need time-passing accessories, and you need the basic necessities involved in life as a person amongst people.

You need pouches.

Mic drop~