Search Results for: merry scary christmas

Merry Scary Christmas: The Horror of The Santa Clause

Most holiday films don’t hinge their plots on involuntary manslaughter, but most holiday films aren’t as inadvertently grim as The Santa Clause. Instead of a heart-warming tale of what it would be like if your father was Santa, this film presents a world where Santa is a role much like Death. If you kill him,…

Merry Scary Christmas: Bob’s Burgers’ “Christmas in the Car”

“You know what? Who needs a nice cozy, warm, comfortable home? We can have our Christmas right here in the car!” “Yeah, until it runs out of gas and we freeze to death.” “Yeah.” It’s perhaps surprising that a show as gentle and warmhearted as Bob’s Burgers gives its holiday episodes a dark, maniacal edge. “Dawn…

Christmas Land (Hallmark 2016)

Merry Scary Christmas: The White Heteronormative Horror of Hallmark Christmas Movies

Within the grand history of storytelling there are many terrifying alternate universes. The Skynet apocalypse of the Terminator franchise, the X-Men’s Sentinel-laden “Days of Future Past” reality, the devolved, ultra capitalism of The Running Man and the brainwashed secret civilization of They Live. But perhaps none are as harrowing and vacuous as the one created…

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Merry Scary Christmas: The Raddest and Baddest Festive Final Girls

Christmas is an odd time of year, one where millions of people want nothing more than a strange old man to break into their house and leave them stuff. A tradition that seems so nightmare inducing has unsurprisingly inspired many a festive fright-fest, covering everything from seminal low budget gore-fests to seasonal event movies. Holiday horror has become a…

Don't Open Till Christmas title card

Merry Scary Christmas: Don’t Open Till Christmas

Don’t Open Till Christmas Starring Edmund Purdom, Alan Lake, Belinda Mayne Directed by Edmund Purdom 1984   While watching Don’t Open Till Christmas, the British “masked murderer kills guys dressed up like Santa Claus” movie, I couldn’t help but think of the Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode “Christmas.” In the cold open, Detectives Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg)…

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Merry Scary Christmas: New Year’s Evil

New Year’s Evil Directed by Emmett Alston Starring: Roz Kelly, Kip Niven, Chris Wallace Golan-Globus Productions 90 mins R, 1980 You know what I like? When a movie doesn’t hide its misogyny. There’s no metaphor. No hiding sexism behind women who “choose” to be objectified or subservient to men. Nope, none of that. Just some…

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