Get Your Game on Wednesday: Say Hello to Mario’s Nipples

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Happy Wednesday! I return to you, exhausted from PAX and Rose City Comic Con, having played too many games to list. Currently I’m into Cook, Serve, Delicious!! 2, which is great if you like to chase real-life stress with fictional stress, which I do. On to the news!

Revelations, but not Assassin’s Creed


The ever-charming South Park series raised eyebrows this week with the announcement that the upcoming South Park: The Fractured But Whole would include race as a difficulty slider. According to Eurogamer, that meant the game would give you less money and change the way characters interact with you. Ubisoft told GamesRadar otherwise. Could it be that the team behind South Park, a series known for its crass and often punch-down humor, used race as the butt of a joke?

This is sarcasm. Of course they did.

In less frustrating news, fans of The Witcher can take a look behind the scenes of the game thanks to a Polish documentary (for which English subtitles are available). Even better, the documentary includes information on games that were never released.

And lastly in revelatory news, it seems that a programmer for Project M, a Smash mod, is not who she claims to be. It turns out that a woman’s been impersonating the legendary programmer Magus, going so far as to move into a houseful of Smash fans under the pretense that she was someone else. Who is she, really? Nobody’s really sure, but, from contacting Magus, it’s clear that she’s not him.

Hellos and Goodbyes

Say hello to Mario’s nipples. Men find them very interesting, producing an incredible volume of tweets since the latest Nintendo Direct. In addition to discussing the fact that our beloved plumber has nips, the internet also marveled at his distinct lack of chest hair, especially for an Italian man.

Say goodbye to the previous design of the Road Complex AA2 gauntlets in Destiny 2. Bungie received complaints that the design resembled the flag of the satirical “Kekistan,” a fictional country that has been seized upon as a symbol of the alt-right and white supremacist movements. Though Bungie claims that any resemblance is an accident and the design was devised in 2015, likely before the color and symbology came to represent anything, the flag’s association with internet troll culture–particularly of the anti Semitic, racist, and otherwise unsavory variety–means it’s for the best that it’s being taken out.

Sadly, game director Bruce Straley announced that he’d be leaving Naughty Dog after 18 years with the company. Straley directed The Last of Us, which is considered one of the greatest stories in gaming history. While he didn’t announce what he’d be working on next, we can rest assured it’ll be great.

Because GYGOW Would Be Incomplete Without An Overwatch Section…

In Overwatch news, Blizzard says that they’re spending so much time fighting toxicity that they’ve had to divert resources away from other development. Um, good? Players tend to have more fun with new skins and heroes when they’re not being called slurs by internet randos. Keep taking action, Blizzard, but it never should have taken this long to begin with.

Kim Se-hyeon, perhaps better known as champion Zarya player Geguri, has become a figurehead for women in esports as well as feminism in South Korea. Her story is harrowing, but ultimately uplifting–she’s faced undue amounts of scrutiny as a young woman in a public space, and we’re all rooting for her success with her new team.

After much anticipation, the latest patch has dropped. D.va’s got missiles. Mercy’s wrecking faces. Also, you can now move the camera when you’re playing as Reinhardt and you’ve got your shield up.

Tidbits

Allowing users to change keybindings is a huge part of making games more accessible. Nintendo announced they’d be implementing a button mapping feature for Arms, allowing players to customize inputs to suit their needs.

EnvyUs, an esports organization, recently launched their own cooking show starring a member of their Overwatch team, Timo “Taimou” Kettunen, who make some pretty good-looking meatballs.

In response to review bombing, Steam has made…charts. Listen, I love charts as much as the next person (and you better believe I’ll be trawling these charts like a weirdo with a cork board and some red string), but putting the onus on players to look up facts is, uh, perhaps not the most productive means of addressing a longstanding problem with the platform.

Skyrim is coming to the Nintendo Switch! Skyrim is coming to every console ever for all of eternity. Skyrim has been downloaded into your brain. You can never escape Skyrim. Khajiit has wares if you have coin. Khajiit has wares if you have coin.

That’s it for this week! See you next week with all the greatest news hits, and until then, Khajiit has wares if you have–

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About Author

Melissa Brinks is a freelance writer and co-creator of the Fake Geek Girls podcast. She has an affinity for cats, cooking, gardening, and investing copious hours of her life in fictional worlds of all kinds.

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