No.

No.

Wonder Woman has a new outfit! A full coverage outfit! We ought to be happy about this, right? Getting her out of panties and into something more demure is what we want, right?

Well… actually…

What we want is an outfit that reflects her ideals, as well as her Amazonian heritage. We want something practical. We want something badass. We want something that doesn’t look like ten different people — or perhaps munchkin D&D players, according to our Jaime — were sent off to separate rooms to design a different piece of her new costume.

“The boots, corset, and undershirt are from three different costumes,” says Megan P. “They DO NOT work in one design.”

“This is my main complaint,” says Vernieda. “The costume isn’t cohesive and my eyes get confused looking at it. I don’t know where to focus because there are so many random elements.”

Megan P. suggests that “the longer you look at it, the worse it becomes.”

Wonder Woman Movie Costume“Hate. Hate hate hate,” says Kate. “I’m not sure I could coherently explain why this bothers me as someone who minored in classical history. I mean I feel like a bad feminist but like…a Greek warrior goddess is pretty much the only person who has a like, character-based reason to wear a leather miniskirt? I mean the “military” aspects of this feel much “later” in terms of history. Like. IDK. I’m just really partial to the Xena-esque Wonder Woman costumes than I am…this. Even with the pants.”

“I am glad the movie went that route,” adds Wendy, “I don’t understand why the comic has been so resistant to it. Are skirts that hard to draw?”

Opinions. We have them.

Not all of us despise Wonder Woman’s new duds, though we remain wary. Wendy suspects that the pants will quietly disappear again. Jaime agrees: “I think they’re gonna slowly strip all that clutter off until we’re down to bustier, crotch flap, thigh highs.”

Wonder Woman’s new artist, David Finch — (not David Lynch, as Ginnis mistakenly read … though she thinks that a David Lynch designed costume, while not “apropos to the spirit of Wonder Woman, would at least be more interesting than this”) — might have spent a long time putting this new look together, but now we’re going to break it down for you.

wonder woman diagram

Image via HitFix.

1. These Boots Are Made For…?

  • Those thigh-highs. They just seem so distracting and unnecessary. Why not just knee-highs? It seems like an attempt to make her sexy, in lieu of showing her skin. There’s no practical reason to wear boots like that other than sex appeal. Someone could argue that it gives her some protection on her thighs, but anything worth being counted as protective would also restrict her ability to move well in them. I just don’t see it… — Lindsey
  • I’ve always disliked the big white stripes on her boots. Now there is so much more stripiness to dislike. – Wendy
  • Did I mention the boots are ugly? — Megan P.

2. Stabby Gauntlets

  • The stabby things could NOT sheath, period, and would just get caught in stuff. They’re a workplace health and safety violation. — Megan P
  • I’ll hand wave the logistics of the blades, but I won’t handwave the fact that I don’t like them for the character. Wonder Woman has always been about her lasso. Period. She’s trained with bladed weapons but doesn’t carry them. It scares me that once more we’re about to see “angry warrior empowered woman Diana” which is just getting tired at this point. Anyway, if you want a character with awesome blade gear, bring back Scandal Savage already. — Ashly

3. Crotch Flap

  • Obscures the tricky crotch area for artists afraid of drawing anything that touches a vulva. – Sarah
  • She has a string flag wrapped around her like she’s ringing in the Fourth of July Apocalypse. – Megan P.
  • HATE IT. I feel like it’s only there as a nod to the character’s origins, a bad attempt at slapping “something kinda gladiator armor-y” onto the design. For me that’s what creates the busy-ness a lot of people have been commenting on, and it just feels gratuitous. – Ashly
  • I would take a leather mini skirt over a triangular crotch flap. – Ginnis

4. Random Ribcage Star

  • I kinda like it, except for the big glaring white star decals. — Lindsey
  • Why do we still have the stars? Wonder Woman used to be all about the red, white, and blue, but aren’t we beyond the fuck yeah America theme now? — Wendy

5. Death Metal

  • The metal belt and boob accent could potentially kill her. – Megan P.
    Reminds me of the episode of Avatar: The Last Air Bender in which Aang put on so much armor he tipped over from being top-heavy. — Jamie
  • The way she’s standing makes it look like it’s slightly too long in the body for her and she’s trying to fill it out. I have been there! It’s very annoying! A bad look for a practical, serene character. — Claire

6. So Many Colours

  • Four colours is actually quite a lot. White! Red! Navy! Gold! There’s no real flow between the shades or intensities, there’s no real grouping of the colours, it’s just all flung on there. And then yellow for the lasso! Just… what’s it supposed to come after? Which tradition is it in? Where’s the inspo? I can’t spot it. — Claire

What do you think of Wonder Woman’s new outfit? Love it? Hate it? Don’t care? Just like saying the words “crotch flap” over and over again? Share in the comments —  and stay-tuned for Desiree’s look at the Amazonian princess’ outfits through the years.