Just like the prologue in Romeo and Juliet, I will state from the beginning that the relationship between myself and Batman is a doomed love. He’s a rich Gothamite and I’m a Torontonian who isn’t rich. Long distance may work in some rare cases, but given that Batman is super intense and serious about his mission against crime, I doubt my distance will be an incentive to drop everything, hop on a private jet, and woo me.
I’m cool with that. One date with the Dark Knight would be a wonderful, Hey-I-Did-This-Thing experience I’d tell my future kids.
For our date, I’d have Batman jet me to Gotham because duh, Gotham. We’d go for a nice nightly stroll (fully costumed in his cape and cowl of course), and we’d take in the sights of his city. We’d go “offenders watching,” which is like people watching, but instead we’d be watching officers drag handcuffed individuals into Gotham Police Department and guess which ones will likely escape later.
Then we’d continue our walk and, being the awesome date that I am, we avoid watching movies, plays and/or going anywhere near crime alley, because I really don’t want this date to be a downer. I’d take Bats to the park, which gives him an opportunity to do some hero work (Damn it, poison ivy! By that, I mean actual poison ivy. Not fun), and afterwards, we’d head back to Wayne Manor to have some of Alfred’s warm tea biscuits and some of his sass on the side. You can’t be the world’s greatest detective on an empty stomach. #Fact.