Amalgam Studios has bestowed upon us the best-worst gift of all; a radical trailer for a comic-to-film adaptation of Bitch Planet that should exist, but probably never will. Fall to your knees and shake your fists at the heavens and lament with me; why are are we getting Ant Man but NOT THIS? Because life is full of disappointments, that’s why. There’s also the fact that only one issue of Bitch Planet has been released thus far — but maybe this gem will help tide you over until the second issue hits the shelves on January 28th.
This understated trailer delivers a punch worthy of Kelly Sue Deconnick and Valentine Delandro’s girl gangs in space prison exploitation comic. In one minute and thirty-six seconds, Amalgam Studios proves less is more, and you don’t need a high budget for special effects to get an audience excited. A teasing promise flares to life, tantalizing and pink over grainy “film;” Coming Soon. A hologram of a glowing nun crammed into thigh highs and a corset flickers to life as an omniscient voice drones on. Welcome to the Auxiliary Compliance Outpost. Unmoving, augmented lips twitch into a semblance of a smile. Unsettling, all knowing eyes flare an eerie blue; she cannot see you, but she is judging you all the same. Non-compliance is not recommended.
The lonely image of this holographic fetish will make your heart pound. As the narrator’s monotone voice executes its monologue, transplanted straight from the introductory pages of Bitch Planet #1, your palms begin to sweat. You didn’t know you wanted this until now, but you want it. You want it bad.
The influence of 70s exploitation flicks and campy 80s sci-fi fantasy drama Bitch Planet so blatantly amalgamates into something new, fresh, and sharp as the business end of a switchblade is perfectly captured by the artificial retro trailer. The fanmade trailer is a treasure that screams Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley taking out aliens in her underwear; Uma Thurman as the Bride mowing down hordes of expendable yakuza lackeys; Pam Grier in… well, anything, fucking shit up.
Watch with caution. It may leave you wanting more than you’re ready for. And whatever you do…make sure you stick around ‘til the very end.
Via The Mary Sue[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNCGVhHQilU]