This Monday, in Marvel news:

A MILLION PEOPLE pre-ordered the first Marvel-owned Star Wars book (well, not really first, but new-first…or…most recent first. The one after they got the license back from Dark Horse, you know what I mean), which comes out this Wednesday and is supposed to be accompanied with Diamond-allocated fanfare from comic shops. In this article for the Guardian, experts pose that the reason for this high number of pre-orders might be because people like Star Wars. Shocking!

Ceiling+spider+man+watches+you+fap+so+much+potential+use+for_16f382_4930193Marvel is prepared to acknowledge the hyper-weird Japanese Spider-Man series as a part of this week’s  Spider-Verse storyline– you know, the one all those weird live-action Spider-Man gifs on Tumblr came from. I approve of this and hope this means a DVD release is forthcoming (I mean, unless I decide to spend $845 on ebay for it…). Also, I am only using Japanese Spider-Man images for the rest of this article. If you wanted to see some other pictures, then too bad, buddy!

 They’re going to kill Deadpool, apparently. If you can summon up any amount of energy to care about this, please let me know.

AGREED, ATLANTIC! While it’s tough to tell from just one trailer, I, too, feel like Ant-Man isn’t having any fun.

spidey16-1327271287Please care about this X-Men/GotG crossover! Please.

 Do you like sports? Can’t get enough of those sportpoints? Do you like Marvel? Do you like Eva Longoria (actually, her part in all of this is pretty rad)? Then ESPN and Marvel and Disney have just the thing for you!

 We may be seeing a tiny li’l baby Cyclops in the next X-Men movie! What’s really exciting about this news is that Cyclops still sucks and will forever and ever.

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In closing: you can enjoy some rad 80’s Marvel art this year, as 1981’s fan calendar will sync up with 2015 dates. YOU ARE WELCOME.