A lot of the nerd identity is wrapped up in consumerism; maybe you’ve been there, but have you got the t-shirt? Did you make a Portal birthday cake? Do you wash with TARDIS soap? And I get it, of course – souvenirs are nice and they make you feel good. When you’ve had a swell time or been affirmed by the journey that you’ve taken, you don’t want to forget! We’re physical beings who exist in an object-filled world. We use objects to retain our experiences. That’s not wrong.
I like the Moomins a whole lot, and I see merchandise in their image fairly often. Usually in a chain called Aspire… but that’s another matter. Sort of. I look Moomin merch up fairly often cos I’m human and I have urges, and then I’m filled with a complex dissatisfaction. Let’s explore that. Together!
Claire’s top ten (best? worst?) Moomins merchandise options, or, we love the laughter and we love the lifestyle products
10: Wrapping paper
The inhabitants of Moomin Valley would, I think, appreciate the philosophical reflection in buying beautiful paper designed to become creased, ripped, and ignored.
9: Little My keyring
Little My doesn’t care beans about keys. She is an active key-uncarer! Ugh!
8: ‘Forest’ make-up bag
Moomins, and Tove Jansson, understand that some people need to wear make-up sometimes, for their strength and joy. But in a forest? There are so many adventures that the Snorkmaiden has in populated areas, amongst glamorous people, that choosing the forest setting seems disingenuous – the forest becomes part of the illusion, a constructed rusticism, that the Moomin message mocks with regularity.
7: Moominmama apron
Look, y’all can see what Moominmama’s apron is like. It’s right there. On this apron. Which looks nothing like that apron.
6: Mymble mug
If you need the comfort of a hot, restorative drink, then you can’t do much better than getting the comfort of the Mymble’s open arms.
5: Moomin house keyring
It’s really hard to live in a moomin tower irl. This is cute. It would make you happy at every glimpse. I.. approve.
4: Stinky tin mug
If there’s anyone who should be on a tin mug, it’s Stinky. Take this into the bushes, and commence unwashedness. Camping! It’s great. But reader – this is fourteen pounds. This is a tin mug. Do you see what I’m saying?
3: Moominpapa tumbler
Possibly the most sensible piece on the list. Moominpapa is a drinker. Fill’im up.
2: Moomin gel hand soap
But would the Moomins use corporate gel soap?
1: Little My t-shirt
I’ll be honest, this tests my resolve. Because the gist of my list is: the Moomins shouldn’t have merchandising. They’re DIY. They’re improv. They’re homemade.
They’re provincial, and independent, and they like it that way! It’s not right to see Moomintroll on washi tape for £4.90, Snufkin on ceramics for £14.60, Little My on objects that are useful or attractive but nevertheless symbols of modern capitalist neuroticism! “A bowl with your likeness for £19.99, dear? Whatever for?” asks Moominmama, in the armchair of my mind. I own the cookbook, it’s true. I won a village apple pie contest with it. But don’t things seem to have strayed from where they started? You love a Moomin, so you buy a Moomin to comfort you. But –
“You can’t ever be really free if you admire somebody too much.”
― Tove Jansson, Tales from Moominvalley
Bonus: Moomins greeting card
..Make it yourself.
All products and images taken from artbox’ Moomin shop. Please make up your own mind and follow your own path to satisfaction!